Sunday Remembrance

“You are my blue crayon, the one I never have enough of, the one I use to colour my Sky.” — A.R. Asher

Sunday Remembrance

It’s a quiet Sunday morning here in Georgia, the sun is shining, it’s so peaceful that you notice the lack of noise from the traffic, the hushed sounds of nature. It’s like all the world is in a cathedral, resting from the week’s labors, catching its breath. This is one of the things I have loved all my life about a Southern Sunday in Georgia. But today the quiet gives me a respite and as I look at the calendar, a chance to remember 11 years ago today.

Eleven years ago on just such a Sunday I didn’t know it but my husband was very close to death. He had suffered from kidney cancer and was home from what would be his last stay at a hospital. That day I was still nursing him, with the help of my daughter and a dear friend. I still tried to fight off death, naively believing that I could have another week, another month with my husband. But that was not to be.

We had spoken with a nurse at the hospital who advised that we call in hospice care. Till the day I die I will believe she was an angel, the only person who could pierce my armor and get me to think of asking for this “last step” care. But I had indeed heard her and vowed to call in the morning to arrange hospice care.

However, I was still hoping this was not the last effort—hoping that my husband would miraculously recuperate and we could live a longer life together. That was not to be. The next night, after I had arranged for hospice staff to arrive the next day, my husband had an episode that drove me to call 911 for transport to the hospital once again. And so, my daughter, granddaughter and son-in-law rushed to the hospital with me for what we thought would be another vigil, another recuperation and hopefully another homecoming. But my husband died that night, as we sat with him, praying, and saying words of love that we all must have known were our last words, our goodbye.

I do not say these things to sadden you, but to remind you of how important it is to tell those you love that you care, that you do love them with all your heart, that they are indeed a part of your heart.

We had done just that for many years, but I still felt I had not said it enough, that my “I love you” statements were inadequate compared to the love I had for this man. He was the love of my life, my soulmate, my buddy. He always reminded me of Rhett Butler, a little too daring, but magnetic at the same time, drawing us all in.

If I tell you a bit about him you will see why I loved him so. He was a “Leo” having been born in August. It’s not that astrology ruled our lives, but it is interesting that the description of a Leo fit my other half perfectly. He loved gatherings, he was “giving” to a fault, and he was always surrounded by adoring friends who just wanted to be in his presence. He was a man’s man who loved cars and trains and could work on both—once helping to practically reconstruct a vintage steam locomotive. One of his jobs was as a machinist for Delta airlines and I always thought people were safer simply because he worked on those fine tolerances, making every plane safe to fly. He was also loved by women who found him funny, very smart and simply adorable. We were both only children and according to the books (bah!) we were supposed to be selfish and self-centered. I think we had enough self respect, but no one who knew my husband ever thought of him as spoiled or self-centered. He was always the life of the party, and life was a party for him. He kept me balanced a bit in that area, as I had to always factor in the negative in life events. I think his life motto must have been “We don’t need no stinking ‘negative’!”

So it is easy to see why I fell in love with this man and just as easy to see why I was so devastated when we had to part. But his legacy is mine. Our daughter and family still talk of him with love. His friends have accorded me the honor of calling me “friend” as well and standing by me for the past eleven years since his death. I am blessed.

So, to get to my point, after much Southern meandering—go out today and tell your loved ones how much you love them. Hug them and support them, letting them know with every moment in life that you are their loving relative or friend, their advocate, that you are there for them, that you will stand with them through all the good and bad days ahead. It will serve you well because these dear ones may pass out of this life ahead of you, but they will go with your love. There is no greater phrase than a simple “I love you,” so go forth and use these words generously, sprinkle every day with this phrase. I can tell you from experience that you will never regret it.

================Quotes that Convey Love==========================

"The day I met you, I found my missing piece. You complete me and make me a better person. I love you with all my heart and all my soul." — Unknown

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." — Dr. Seuss

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." — A.A. Milne

"Love is like the wind, you can't see it, but you can feel it." — Nicholas Sparks

"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." — Audrey Hepburn

“Nothing feels as good as being loved by my best friend.” — Karen Kostyla

“You are my blue crayon, the one I never have enough of, the one I use to colour my Sky.” — A.R. Asher